Hey guys! I'm really sorry about not updating more regularly but I've been taking a sabbatical from blogging for a week to try and finally beat GTA IV (a fantastic game that haunts my dreams and will not end, goddamit!). Anyways, now I'm swamped with trying to finish my intern project for the zoo with the little time that I have outside of work. I'm in the final stretch of my internship (only a week left, AGH!) and it's going be really sad when I'm done, but I'm definitely psyched to be done and go back to SCHOOL, DAMN.
Okay okay, so I've got to type this up really quick so that I can get to work on that shit, as well as my KARL shit (here's lookin' at you, Walsh). The theme of this post is anger, because when I go a long time without spillin' it to you guys, all I can remember is the stuff that makes me pissed. So moral of the story: This is going to be a fast and angry post, just like the way I like my... Well, you get it.
So I don't understand how some of these "lite rock" stations on the radio can honestly say that they're playing "today's lite hits" and then immediately follow that with some Alannis Morisette song from 1996. Like, seriously, it's NOT fresh if its more than 10 years old! I hate to sound like a music snob, but I've realized that most popular music makes my ears want to vomit diarrhea, especially if it's from anytime between January 1991 and December 2001. You heard it here first: in the future, these years will come to be known as Father Time's Asshole.
Next, I'm going to take a page from my friend Ethan's book and talk a little about Hollywood (even though he threatened me with death and/or castration). I just want to say that I hate scary movies. Really, really dislike them. It's because I'm overly susceptible to the scariness of movies. And Hollywood has recently developed this really crappy habit of making scary movies carefully tailored around a single theme. FOR EXAMPLE, the new movie Mirrors, about evil mirrors or some shit. All I know is that I can't even sit through a preview without running the risk of not sleeping that night. And the way they spell "mirror" is with a backwards second "r," you know, like a mirror. O ya, I see what you did there, movie producers. That's really cute! But I'd really like the ability to piss in front of my bathroom mirror again. It's not just mirrors, though. Here's a list of things that I'm frightened of either partially or totally because of scary movies: partially opened doors, mirrors, corners of rooms (especially the top ones), large bodies of water, clowns, shower curtains, the Deep South, and many more, all of which is made worse if it's dark out. That's just off the top of my head. And I kid you not, a preview for fucking Mirrors just came on and I shat myself. Fuckin pissin me off.
Anyways, have a nice night. I've got work to do!
P.S. America's Best Dance Crew is a fantastic show. I highly recommend it to everyone.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
This One's For Rabbi Neal Schiendlin
Why hello, blogulators. So it's been a while since I really laid it all out for you guys, so to speak. I'm talking about the real important stuff in life: ME. There's been a lot going on lately, and we've been beating around the bush just a tad. I'm feeling some distance between us... Where's the loyal readership that I fell in love with? I used to write my blogs all night for you, and we'd just laugh and laugh until you seriously thought you were going to crap your pants and then I told that story about the robot I met in Canada and then you actually did crap your pants and you got really embarassed about it and made up some excuse about lightbulbs... Ah, good times. Anyways, I'm taking this chance to rekindle the romance we once had: the beautiful connection blogger and bloggee.
It's definitely been an extended period of time since I told you guys about my animals, and I realized that I had never even told you about all the orangutans. So here's my shout-out to Maggie, Brunei, Schnitz, and Pepper: If you're reading this, holy fuck how did you get out of holding and learn how to use a computer? But seriously, working with the orangs was my distinct pleasure and I'm sincerely going to miss hanging out with these insanely smart animals every day.
This, of course, is because I've officially started in South America this week, and boy has it been a doozy. Just when I was getting used the routine in Asia, everything gets switched up and I have to learn an entirely new run. But I'm definitely enjoying getting to work with the spider( monkey)s and capuchins, who I'm already getting to know a little better.
The spiders are really, really cool because they have their extremely dextrous prehensile tails that they use as an extra limb. It's so cool to watch them stick their tails through the mesh and pick up a raisin two feet away using just their tails! Another crazy aspect of the spiders is that, like the colobus monkeys in Africa, they have no thumbs. To me, the thumb is such an intrinsic part of what makes a primate, and to see these monkeys that have totally lost them through evolution is super neato, to say the least.
The capuchins are incredibly cute, as well, what with all the baby "ooh-ooh"ing that they do. They all have really funny hair-dos, like Alexia who has the exact same hair as Kramer from Seinfeld and Eli who looks like a tiny monkey metal head/ Pokemon. You'd have to see him to believe it, but he's quite possibly the cutest thing I've ever seen.
Of course, there's Jutal the tapir and Velcro the giant anteater, as well as all the tiny Callitrichids (Golden Lion Tamarins, Cotton Tops, and Callimicos). I'm sure I'll have plenty more to say about them later, but right now you'll have to take my word that everyone in South America is super cute.
So before I go to bed, I'd like to just point out two things. One: Real World. I just watched the reunion and it was so weird/ awesome. I can't wait until my Real World cast has our reunion and we talk about all those times we got fucked up in the Sea of Tranquility. Two: I'm officially designing a shirt for Threadless. If you're as excited about this as I am, just wait until you see the kick-assed-ness of it all. I'm setting up a time table as we speak, but we should be looking at a submission sometime in late August. First clue: It's gonna be hot.
Anyways, it was fun, everybody, but I'm tired as hell. Peace out to my homies.
It's definitely been an extended period of time since I told you guys about my animals, and I realized that I had never even told you about all the orangutans. So here's my shout-out to Maggie, Brunei, Schnitz, and Pepper: If you're reading this, holy fuck how did you get out of holding and learn how to use a computer? But seriously, working with the orangs was my distinct pleasure and I'm sincerely going to miss hanging out with these insanely smart animals every day.
This, of course, is because I've officially started in South America this week, and boy has it been a doozy. Just when I was getting used the routine in Asia, everything gets switched up and I have to learn an entirely new run. But I'm definitely enjoying getting to work with the spider( monkey)s and capuchins, who I'm already getting to know a little better.
The spiders are really, really cool because they have their extremely dextrous prehensile tails that they use as an extra limb. It's so cool to watch them stick their tails through the mesh and pick up a raisin two feet away using just their tails! Another crazy aspect of the spiders is that, like the colobus monkeys in Africa, they have no thumbs. To me, the thumb is such an intrinsic part of what makes a primate, and to see these monkeys that have totally lost them through evolution is super neato, to say the least.
The capuchins are incredibly cute, as well, what with all the baby "ooh-ooh"ing that they do. They all have really funny hair-dos, like Alexia who has the exact same hair as Kramer from Seinfeld and Eli who looks like a tiny monkey metal head/ Pokemon. You'd have to see him to believe it, but he's quite possibly the cutest thing I've ever seen.
Of course, there's Jutal the tapir and Velcro the giant anteater, as well as all the tiny Callitrichids (Golden Lion Tamarins, Cotton Tops, and Callimicos). I'm sure I'll have plenty more to say about them later, but right now you'll have to take my word that everyone in South America is super cute.
So before I go to bed, I'd like to just point out two things. One: Real World. I just watched the reunion and it was so weird/ awesome. I can't wait until my Real World cast has our reunion and we talk about all those times we got fucked up in the Sea of Tranquility. Two: I'm officially designing a shirt for Threadless. If you're as excited about this as I am, just wait until you see the kick-assed-ness of it all. I'm setting up a time table as we speak, but we should be looking at a submission sometime in late August. First clue: It's gonna be hot.
Anyways, it was fun, everybody, but I'm tired as hell. Peace out to my homies.
Monday, July 14, 2008
A Vote! I Demand A Vote!
Okay, guys. I'm seriously having a lot of trouble deciding whether I should cut my hair or not.
I really, really liked my hair when it was long as hell last year, but it was a little out of hand by the time the winter holidays rolled around...
Reference photo:
I decided to get my hair cut, and it was a great decision. It was one of the best haircuts I have ever gotten, and undoubtedly the ladies loved me for it.
Reference photo:
Sorry for the quality of both pictures, but I just realized that I don't have a single normal picture of myself on record. (Also, oddly enough, I'm wearing the same shirt in both pictures... Spoooooo-ky!)
Right now I feel that my hair looks okay, but not fantastic, but it has the potential of growing our and looking really super awesome like it once did if I just stick to my guns. But I have this nagging feeling that I should just get it cut and look good as hell with short hair... That's why I need your help, loyal readership. If you are reading this sentence, I hereby obligate you to place your vote as to which hair-do or -don't you prefer. A comment in response to this post will do just fine.
I'm counting on you, America.
P.S. I would just like to mention how completely awesome LCD Soundsystem are. Please check out either their self-titled debut album or their more recent Sound of Silver. Seriously great stuff.
I really, really liked my hair when it was long as hell last year, but it was a little out of hand by the time the winter holidays rolled around...
Reference photo:
I decided to get my hair cut, and it was a great decision. It was one of the best haircuts I have ever gotten, and undoubtedly the ladies loved me for it.
Reference photo:
Sorry for the quality of both pictures, but I just realized that I don't have a single normal picture of myself on record. (Also, oddly enough, I'm wearing the same shirt in both pictures... Spoooooo-ky!)
Right now I feel that my hair looks okay, but not fantastic, but it has the potential of growing our and looking really super awesome like it once did if I just stick to my guns. But I have this nagging feeling that I should just get it cut and look good as hell with short hair... That's why I need your help, loyal readership. If you are reading this sentence, I hereby obligate you to place your vote as to which hair-do or -don't you prefer. A comment in response to this post will do just fine.
I'm counting on you, America.
P.S. I would just like to mention how completely awesome LCD Soundsystem are. Please check out either their self-titled debut album or their more recent Sound of Silver. Seriously great stuff.
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
A Real Quick One
Good evening, boys and girls! Before I doze off, I thought I'd write a real quick post to keep myself honest and let you know what's good.
1. The Real World. Words cannot describe my love for this fucking show. Mark my words, I will undoubtedly be cast for Real World 27: The Moon. This season was phenomenal, and I'm super bummed that it's over. I almost miss the thirty minute episode format (for those of you that are out of the loop, shame on you, but this season was the first with one hour episodes...), because as much fun as I have with these episodes, the season is over so much quicker.
2. My iPod. It's my best friend, but I've been neglecting it lately. This week is officially Clean Up Your iPod Week, so join me by going through your iPod and getting rid of all that useless shit. I know you still have Fall Out Boy on there... Don't worry, you were young and stupid. Just get rid of it, and I won't tell anyone. See, doesn't that feel better?
3. Brendan Frasier. Seriously, who THE FUCK does he think he is? I thought that when I saw previews for Journey to the Center of the Earth I had seen the worst show of Brendanfrasierism (n: the act of cranking out shitty movies) since Monkeybone. But then shit happened. The Mummy 3: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor. WHAT THE FUCK, HOLLYWOOD!?
Now I must leave you, but please let me know what you think. Peace out, I'm tired.
P.S. Congrats, Alex. Here's to finding the hot, male version of your soulmate.
1. The Real World. Words cannot describe my love for this fucking show. Mark my words, I will undoubtedly be cast for Real World 27: The Moon. This season was phenomenal, and I'm super bummed that it's over. I almost miss the thirty minute episode format (for those of you that are out of the loop, shame on you, but this season was the first with one hour episodes...), because as much fun as I have with these episodes, the season is over so much quicker.
2. My iPod. It's my best friend, but I've been neglecting it lately. This week is officially Clean Up Your iPod Week, so join me by going through your iPod and getting rid of all that useless shit. I know you still have Fall Out Boy on there... Don't worry, you were young and stupid. Just get rid of it, and I won't tell anyone. See, doesn't that feel better?
3. Brendan Frasier. Seriously, who THE FUCK does he think he is? I thought that when I saw previews for Journey to the Center of the Earth I had seen the worst show of Brendanfrasierism (n: the act of cranking out shitty movies) since Monkeybone. But then shit happened. The Mummy 3: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor. WHAT THE FUCK, HOLLYWOOD!?
Now I must leave you, but please let me know what you think. Peace out, I'm tired.
P.S. Congrats, Alex. Here's to finding the hot, male version of your soulmate.
Monday, July 7, 2008
The Camera Phone Chronicles
Hey hey, blogheads. I know, I know... I'm a terrible person for not updating my blog with more regularity. But that's what waking up at 4:00 in the morning does to you. I'm lucky to even make it home and shove food down my craw before passing out for the night. Anyways, I'm finally letting you guys in on my little secret that I had planned for last week. It's a new segment I call "The Camera Phone Chronicles," or CPC for short (Sound familiar, WashU people? Good... It shouldn't.). The premise is that I've been taking a lot of random pictures ever since I started working at the zoo, and I was looking back on them and thinking about all the stories behind them. And then I thought about you guys, and how much you love listening to my stories... IT'S A PERFECT MATCH! Now, prepare yourselves for a fantastic voyage into the private life of your very own Wild Willis. [Insert warp noise]
Note: Please feel free to click on any of these pictures for a bigger size and better resolution.
To begin with, a picture of Bana, one of my favorite gorillas at the zoo, snapped just a few days ago. As awesome a gorilla as she is, she's often overlooked and under-appreciated because she's the subordinate member of the group. People mistake her for a male all the time because she doesn't have an infant, and unfortunately might never get the chance to raise one of her own. She's extremely caring and gentle with the babies, and can often be found hanging out near Nadaya (her nephew). She's such a great gorilla and I wish more people took the time to understand her instead of saying "That monkey's boring," after five seconds and rushing on.
Next up, a somewhat blurry image of Half-Life's own Gordon Freeman. The key feature of this picture are his kick-ass glasses which I would totally rock. It is undeniable that with a similar haircut, those classic sexy scientist glasses, and well-trimmed facial hair, I would be greater than of equally ballin'.
So this next picture is probably the pinnacle of my camera-phoning skills. I saw this girl wearing this pair of ridiculously short shorts and had to capture the moment on pholm (my hereby made-up word for the film that a camera phone uses... pronounced: fulm). Unfortunately, my phone's camera has this annoying (and not to mention incriminating) shutter sound that you can't totally shut off, even if you silence the phone. That doesn't even make sense to me; why does a camera phone that doesn't even have a shutter need to make a shutter sound when it takes a picture? I guess it's part of Samsung's anti-creepster strategy: people won't take creepy, voyeuristic pictures if there's a chance that they'll have to face the social repercussions after being betrayed by a loud shutter noise... Well, I guess I showed you, huh Samsung!? Suck it! My strategy was to pretend to look through my contacts for my favorite pizza joint while snagging the shot on the down-low (Insider Tip: Loudly muttering "Pizza" over and over helps to weave the illusion while simultaneously masking the telltale click.). Although I ended up looking like some kind of cracked-out Little Ceasar's mascot, I got the shot and that's all that really matters in the end.
This next pic is little more than a visual shout-out to my brotha from anotha Jewish motha, E-Baby Stern. I pass this building every day on my walk to the Metra Station and can't help but think about my Hebrew counterpart. Mazeltov, Ethan!
Wacky Races: quite possibly the best cartoon of all time. The premise is that a slew of Hanna-Barbera cartoon characters are called together to enter a race of a decidely wacky nature in order to win bragging rights over all the other characters. Each racer had a themed car and booby traps, and we can most likely thank this series for MarioKart, Diddy Kong Racing, and all the other classic racing games out there where all-star characters are pitted against each other. I absolutely loved this series growing up, but apparently I was the only one, because I've talked to several people about this show and no one has any idea of what I'm talking about. Well, this game is proof that it really existed and I'm not totally crazy... Vindication is mine!
Not only do I have wacky animal adventures in the zoo, but outside the zoo, as well! I found this swarm of ants (with my hand for size reference) on my way to Brookfield and absolutely freaked out. It's definitely the biggest group of ants I've ever seen. Crazy, huh?
Now, to round out this bunch of pictures, I give you the World's Ugliest Polo Shirt. EVER. This shirt just crapped on America.
Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this edition of the CPC, and I'll talk to you guys soon.
Note: Please feel free to click on any of these pictures for a bigger size and better resolution.
To begin with, a picture of Bana, one of my favorite gorillas at the zoo, snapped just a few days ago. As awesome a gorilla as she is, she's often overlooked and under-appreciated because she's the subordinate member of the group. People mistake her for a male all the time because she doesn't have an infant, and unfortunately might never get the chance to raise one of her own. She's extremely caring and gentle with the babies, and can often be found hanging out near Nadaya (her nephew). She's such a great gorilla and I wish more people took the time to understand her instead of saying "That monkey's boring," after five seconds and rushing on.
Next up, a somewhat blurry image of Half-Life's own Gordon Freeman. The key feature of this picture are his kick-ass glasses which I would totally rock. It is undeniable that with a similar haircut, those classic sexy scientist glasses, and well-trimmed facial hair, I would be greater than of equally ballin'.
So this next picture is probably the pinnacle of my camera-phoning skills. I saw this girl wearing this pair of ridiculously short shorts and had to capture the moment on pholm (my hereby made-up word for the film that a camera phone uses... pronounced: fulm). Unfortunately, my phone's camera has this annoying (and not to mention incriminating) shutter sound that you can't totally shut off, even if you silence the phone. That doesn't even make sense to me; why does a camera phone that doesn't even have a shutter need to make a shutter sound when it takes a picture? I guess it's part of Samsung's anti-creepster strategy: people won't take creepy, voyeuristic pictures if there's a chance that they'll have to face the social repercussions after being betrayed by a loud shutter noise... Well, I guess I showed you, huh Samsung!? Suck it! My strategy was to pretend to look through my contacts for my favorite pizza joint while snagging the shot on the down-low (Insider Tip: Loudly muttering "Pizza" over and over helps to weave the illusion while simultaneously masking the telltale click.). Although I ended up looking like some kind of cracked-out Little Ceasar's mascot, I got the shot and that's all that really matters in the end.
This next pic is little more than a visual shout-out to my brotha from anotha Jewish motha, E-Baby Stern. I pass this building every day on my walk to the Metra Station and can't help but think about my Hebrew counterpart. Mazeltov, Ethan!
Wacky Races: quite possibly the best cartoon of all time. The premise is that a slew of Hanna-Barbera cartoon characters are called together to enter a race of a decidely wacky nature in order to win bragging rights over all the other characters. Each racer had a themed car and booby traps, and we can most likely thank this series for MarioKart, Diddy Kong Racing, and all the other classic racing games out there where all-star characters are pitted against each other. I absolutely loved this series growing up, but apparently I was the only one, because I've talked to several people about this show and no one has any idea of what I'm talking about. Well, this game is proof that it really existed and I'm not totally crazy... Vindication is mine!
Not only do I have wacky animal adventures in the zoo, but outside the zoo, as well! I found this swarm of ants (with my hand for size reference) on my way to Brookfield and absolutely freaked out. It's definitely the biggest group of ants I've ever seen. Crazy, huh?
Now, to round out this bunch of pictures, I give you the World's Ugliest Polo Shirt. EVER. This shirt just crapped on America.Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this edition of the CPC, and I'll talk to you guys soon.
Monday, June 30, 2008
Girl Talk -- Feed The Animals
Hey, Blogheads. Yeah, that's right... I came up with a name! For YOU! Off the top of my head! And it's gonna stick, dammit! You see, it's funny because it kinda sounds like "blockheads," but appropriate because you're reading a blog. Also, I'm an idiot.
But, now, to the business! I've chosen to use my allotted time this week to tell you a little about an album that holds a very special place in my heart, so that maybe you can enjoy it too. I'm trying to beat the clock so I can get some sleep tonight, so let's get started!
The album in question is:
Girl Talk
Feed The Animals
When I picked up Girl Talk's last album, Night Ripper, I thought I had heard the pinnacle of music. The entire album played as one long track, weaving in and out of artfully-arranged samples. Every song had an infectious energy that was impossible to deny, and I was basically forced to shake my ass and move my feet. There was obviously nothing that could top this... NOT! Girl Talk's new album simply blew my fucking mind. Similarly mixed into one mega-track, it was pure audiogasm from the very first beat. It doesn't have quite as many memorable moments as Night Ripper, but anyone who can take "Whoop! There It Is" and make it cool again is a fucking genius in my book. His style has evolved and he put something together that functions so incredibly well as a whole. I sincerely believe that this is one of the best albums to which I have ever listened (Suck on that grammar, bitches... No hanging-fucking-prepositions). The best part is that it's free as hell, too. On Illegal Art's website, they're offering a free download with bonuses for donations. So basically, there is absolutely no reason whatsoever that you shouldn't be listening to this album right now. Please do yourself a favor and Feed The Animals.
Important Note: That last remark was a failed attempt to sound cool and sauve while getting you to listen to this great album, not an invitation to come to Brookfield and throw shit into my animals' cages. If you do, I swear to God I'll come dropkick your face.
Anyways, get excited because I've got something really cool planned for you this week. You're gonna love it. Like, seriously, I'm a genius. YES.
But, now, to the business! I've chosen to use my allotted time this week to tell you a little about an album that holds a very special place in my heart, so that maybe you can enjoy it too. I'm trying to beat the clock so I can get some sleep tonight, so let's get started!
The album in question is:
Girl Talk
Feed The Animals
When I picked up Girl Talk's last album, Night Ripper, I thought I had heard the pinnacle of music. The entire album played as one long track, weaving in and out of artfully-arranged samples. Every song had an infectious energy that was impossible to deny, and I was basically forced to shake my ass and move my feet. There was obviously nothing that could top this... NOT! Girl Talk's new album simply blew my fucking mind. Similarly mixed into one mega-track, it was pure audiogasm from the very first beat. It doesn't have quite as many memorable moments as Night Ripper, but anyone who can take "Whoop! There It Is" and make it cool again is a fucking genius in my book. His style has evolved and he put something together that functions so incredibly well as a whole. I sincerely believe that this is one of the best albums to which I have ever listened (Suck on that grammar, bitches... No hanging-fucking-prepositions). The best part is that it's free as hell, too. On Illegal Art's website, they're offering a free download with bonuses for donations. So basically, there is absolutely no reason whatsoever that you shouldn't be listening to this album right now. Please do yourself a favor and Feed The Animals.
Important Note: That last remark was a failed attempt to sound cool and sauve while getting you to listen to this great album, not an invitation to come to Brookfield and throw shit into my animals' cages. If you do, I swear to God I'll come dropkick your face.
Anyways, get excited because I've got something really cool planned for you this week. You're gonna love it. Like, seriously, I'm a genius. YES.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Back Online
Good afternoon, you wild motherflackers. Pardon the euphemism, but I'm trying to keep this thing as PG13 as possible. I will indubitably let some shit go (it's inevitable), but blatant fucking swearing is just out of the question.
Anyways, I'm sorry for missing Monday's update, but I've been having some issues with my computer lately. We can rack that one up to technical difficulties. But I'm back with another edition of the Wild World and I know you guys could barely wait.
As I mentioned before, I came to some fantastic existential conclusions this weekend. A lot of them had to do with the nature of religion, but since I don't want to get all weird and confrontational, I'm opting to exclude them from today's conversation. If you're extremely curious as to my feelings on religion, etc., leave me a comment and I'll share if there is a positive enough response.
My realizations weren't confined to the religious end of the spectrum, however, and I'd like to share one with you that is very dear to my heart. I sincerely, truly hope that sometime in the near future we encounter intelligent alien life.
I feel that it would be the best possible thing that could happen to humanity. Let me explain... Humanity is plagued by an extremely bad case of the Mondays that lasts all week long. We're constantly fighting and discriminating. One of the main reasons for this, our tendency as a species to seek out differences and dwell on them, is an intrinsic part of our humanity. It's a result of how the human mind works and is in part responsible for our success as a species. The ability to differentiate, categorize, and generalize allowed our brainy ape ancestors to learn more efficiently and survive to pass on their mental gifts. There are, however, unfortunate consequences to these amazing cognitive abilities: for example, racism. 
Now, I promise this is going somewhere. You see, if we made contact with aliens, friend or foe, humanity would be the better for it. If they were friendly, we could learn so much from them (space travel, for example, or in the case of ET, love). If they were mean aliens that wanted to enslave/ annihilate our race, humans would be forced to band together and forget their differences to overcome the threat in the way that only humans can (I've seen it done a hundred times in the movies, trust me...). Either way, when faced with completely different beings from us, we would all be united under the banner of humanity and all within-species discrimination would (presumably) disappear. Now doesn't that just make you want to get invaded?
Now that I've got that out of the way, let me tell you guys about work. I killed two more mice today, not even 30 minutes apart. Now I want to stress to you people that I really do, in fact, love animals. Although it seems contrary to my beliefs, let me explain my reasoning. The mice live in the same quarters as the animals I'm caring for, which are all endangered to varying degrees, but endangered all the same. The mice spread disease, and if they're getting my animals sick, they're hurting the future of an endangered species. 
Now, there are plenty of mice in the world (I wouldn't be surprised if they outnumber us humans), so they can stand to lose a few in the ranks. That doesn't make it an easier to me to kill 'em, though. The strategy is spraying them with the hose to disorient them, and the picking them up by the tail and whipping them down to break their necks. It's a fairly quick death (I hope...), but after reading the Redwall books I can't help imagining them with little swords and suits of armor like Martin of Redwall. At first I had a lot of trouble dealing with this heart-breaking idea, but then I thought about Mouse Hunt instead and I felt a lot better. What a shitty movie...
Anyways, I hope this was entirely interesting and entertaining. I've still got a lot of stuff that I want to share with you guys, but this post is already huge so I'll save it all for subsequent (I hope I used that right...) updates. Let me know what you think, guys! Peace out
Anyways, I'm sorry for missing Monday's update, but I've been having some issues with my computer lately. We can rack that one up to technical difficulties. But I'm back with another edition of the Wild World and I know you guys could barely wait.
As I mentioned before, I came to some fantastic existential conclusions this weekend. A lot of them had to do with the nature of religion, but since I don't want to get all weird and confrontational, I'm opting to exclude them from today's conversation. If you're extremely curious as to my feelings on religion, etc., leave me a comment and I'll share if there is a positive enough response.
My realizations weren't confined to the religious end of the spectrum, however, and I'd like to share one with you that is very dear to my heart. I sincerely, truly hope that sometime in the near future we encounter intelligent alien life.
I feel that it would be the best possible thing that could happen to humanity. Let me explain... Humanity is plagued by an extremely bad case of the Mondays that lasts all week long. We're constantly fighting and discriminating. One of the main reasons for this, our tendency as a species to seek out differences and dwell on them, is an intrinsic part of our humanity. It's a result of how the human mind works and is in part responsible for our success as a species. The ability to differentiate, categorize, and generalize allowed our brainy ape ancestors to learn more efficiently and survive to pass on their mental gifts. There are, however, unfortunate consequences to these amazing cognitive abilities: for example, racism. 
Now, I promise this is going somewhere. You see, if we made contact with aliens, friend or foe, humanity would be the better for it. If they were friendly, we could learn so much from them (space travel, for example, or in the case of ET, love). If they were mean aliens that wanted to enslave/ annihilate our race, humans would be forced to band together and forget their differences to overcome the threat in the way that only humans can (I've seen it done a hundred times in the movies, trust me...). Either way, when faced with completely different beings from us, we would all be united under the banner of humanity and all within-species discrimination would (presumably) disappear. Now doesn't that just make you want to get invaded?
Now that I've got that out of the way, let me tell you guys about work. I killed two more mice today, not even 30 minutes apart. Now I want to stress to you people that I really do, in fact, love animals. Although it seems contrary to my beliefs, let me explain my reasoning. The mice live in the same quarters as the animals I'm caring for, which are all endangered to varying degrees, but endangered all the same. The mice spread disease, and if they're getting my animals sick, they're hurting the future of an endangered species. 
Now, there are plenty of mice in the world (I wouldn't be surprised if they outnumber us humans), so they can stand to lose a few in the ranks. That doesn't make it an easier to me to kill 'em, though. The strategy is spraying them with the hose to disorient them, and the picking them up by the tail and whipping them down to break their necks. It's a fairly quick death (I hope...), but after reading the Redwall books I can't help imagining them with little swords and suits of armor like Martin of Redwall. At first I had a lot of trouble dealing with this heart-breaking idea, but then I thought about Mouse Hunt instead and I felt a lot better. What a shitty movie...
Anyways, I hope this was entirely interesting and entertaining. I've still got a lot of stuff that I want to share with you guys, but this post is already huge so I'll save it all for subsequent (I hope I used that right...) updates. Let me know what you think, guys! Peace out
Friday, June 20, 2008
Deep Thoughts...
Hey guys, it's technically still Friday night but I went out to dinner tonight with my dad and my broski (It was a very nice restaurant... I had the venison... It was delicious...). I thought I'd let you guys know that I had a really intense conversation about religion, etc. with said family members and it really helped me understand how I feel about all that really important existential stuff. I'll definitely share with you guys later on, but not yet. You guys can probably expect an extra update this weekend, because I think we should really get this stuff out there. Hold on, buddies. You'll be enlightened soon!
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
It's Late!
I'm extremely sorry, loyal readership, for the late post but I just finished watching the new episode of The Real World. Fantastic episode tonight, but that also means that I'm up past my bedtime. Consequently, I'll have to keep this post short, but I just wanted to let you guys know how things are going with the change in primate scenary at the zoo.
Honestly, things couldn't be going better. Asia has a totally different flavor to it (...It's a bit nutty). Instead of doing it the Africa way, where you get only about 30-45 mins with your animals before and after they're on exhibit, Orang has at least two groups of animals in at all times. That translates to a lot more interaction with the animals, which means a happier work day in my opinion. I find that I'm in a way better mood after working with the orangs, since I've got them making noises, funny faces, and the like while I'm preparing food, cleaning cages, etc.
Take, for example, Ben's group: made up of Ben the adult male, Sophie the adult female (Four months pregnant, due in October!), her daughter Mei, and son Denda. They're almost always goofing off and being silly. Sometimes I'll have all of them making fart noises (their way of begging for food) through the cage front, like a symphony of fourth graders. Or you'll have Denda climbing to the top of the mesh and peeing into the nearest container or on the nearest keeper, his favorite pastime. The other day I had Mei begging from underneath a blanket with only her eyes sticking out, flatulent ninja style. It's a nice change from Ramar's constant "Feck eff," so to speak.
Speaking of which, I didn't get any face time with the gorillas today, since Binti and Alpha were getting dental work done. Unfortunately, Bakari was down in holding all day with his mom, and the only glimpse I caught of Nadaya was him pacing back and forth between holding and the exhibit. Not the ideal conditions for a behavioral study...
This is a segment of the blog that I'd like to introduce called Random Pics from the Internet, where I show you random pictures that I find on the internet that have nothing to do with what I was talking about. Enjoy your first random pic:
Anyways, I've got a whole bunch I want to talk about with you guys, but I guess it'll have to wait until later. It's 11:00 already, and I'm tired as hell. Have a great night, and until next time.
Honestly, things couldn't be going better. Asia has a totally different flavor to it (...It's a bit nutty). Instead of doing it the Africa way, where you get only about 30-45 mins with your animals before and after they're on exhibit, Orang has at least two groups of animals in at all times. That translates to a lot more interaction with the animals, which means a happier work day in my opinion. I find that I'm in a way better mood after working with the orangs, since I've got them making noises, funny faces, and the like while I'm preparing food, cleaning cages, etc.
Take, for example, Ben's group: made up of Ben the adult male, Sophie the adult female (Four months pregnant, due in October!), her daughter Mei, and son Denda. They're almost always goofing off and being silly. Sometimes I'll have all of them making fart noises (their way of begging for food) through the cage front, like a symphony of fourth graders. Or you'll have Denda climbing to the top of the mesh and peeing into the nearest container or on the nearest keeper, his favorite pastime. The other day I had Mei begging from underneath a blanket with only her eyes sticking out, flatulent ninja style. It's a nice change from Ramar's constant "Feck eff," so to speak.
Speaking of which, I didn't get any face time with the gorillas today, since Binti and Alpha were getting dental work done. Unfortunately, Bakari was down in holding all day with his mom, and the only glimpse I caught of Nadaya was him pacing back and forth between holding and the exhibit. Not the ideal conditions for a behavioral study...
This is a segment of the blog that I'd like to introduce called Random Pics from the Internet, where I show you random pictures that I find on the internet that have nothing to do with what I was talking about. Enjoy your first random pic:
Anyways, I've got a whole bunch I want to talk about with you guys, but I guess it'll have to wait until later. It's 11:00 already, and I'm tired as hell. Have a great night, and until next time.
Monday, June 16, 2008
A Little About Myself
Hey again, readers. I should really come up with a catchy name to refer to you guys as... Note to self: Spend all free time pondering witty names. But that's besides the point. Like the title says, I want to let you guys know a little bit more about me. You may already be familiar with this aspect of my personality (here's lookin' at you, Walsh), or perhaps you're yet to learn how it can enrich and entertain you for days to come. What I'm trying to say is... I'm so stupid.
Yes, it's true. I'm so stupid. It's a little more complicated than you would think, though; less a state of being and more a way of life. It's a phrase that personifies the sort of masochistic comedy that happens to me on a regular basis. It can best be defined as any of the following scenarios: I wake up from a one hour nap, only to find out that I was supposed to be at an important meeting three hours ago. Maybe I fall asleep on a train and wake up at the exact same stop... Going in the opposite direction.
Or perhaps I spent the last week hitchhiking to Washington, when I really wanted to go to Washington DC. Or even better, I built my summer cottage in the part of the country with the highest density of grizzly bears, using bricks of salmon and honey as the mortar. You get the idea... Anyways, I almost committed my greatest and final masterpiece today, and I thought I'd tell all you about it. I narrowly missed being struck by an oncoming train while running for a train for which I was late: the very epitome of "I'm so stupid."
As I boarded the train that almost cost me my life, I began to ponder the nature of life. As I made a mental journey through my life, I thought about what regrets I had, although few they were, and among them was "not befriending more people with wheezy laughs." It may sound weird, but nothing makes you seem like the funniest guy in the room than a friend with a really wheezy laugh. You know the kind I'm talking about: the jolly, asthmatic sort of chuckle that's as at home in a crowded restaurant or bar as it is in the Intensive Care wing of your local hospital.
There's something about that laugh that makes you think, "I'm not sure what he's laughing about, but whatever it is, it's gotta be good!"
Besides my near-death at the hands of man's only invention that is as devious as it is steam-powered, my day was pretty fantastic. Although I will dearly miss working with the gorillas, I must admit that I'm really excited about switching to Asia. No longer am I working with species from a continent based entirely on testosterone-fueled aggression and fierce dominance heirarchies. Not only am I hanging out with the orangs, which are freaking ADORABLE, but later I'll get to move on to the gibbons (which are incredibly fun to watch) and the otters. Which brings me to an important sidenote: Otters are officially THE cutest animal in the world. Even if I ignore the whole "bweaking cwams wif big wocks on my wittle tummy" factor (seeing as how these are river otters and not sea otters), the truth is undeniable. They look like puppies, sound like kittens, have little baby hands, and enjoy tickle fights and swimming playfully. I'm on-fucking-board.
I know I promised a comic today, but as I mentioned before, I'm so stupid and therefore brought my Wacom tablet to Chicago but left the Wacom pen at home. Classic Willis. Anyways, I've cobbled together a pretty wuss-tastic MS Paint version of the gorilla family tree (click for better res) and I hope it brings some clarity to my stories. I left some holes that are better left empty, since the backstory of this group is a whopper.
Anyhoo, I'll keep bringing the animal stories, gorillas included, so make sure to keep this in mind. Maybe print it out and keep it next to your computer at all times... You know, for reference. Well I'm definitely wiped out after a hard day at the zoo, so I hope you all enjoyed my writin' and come back real soon, y'hear?
--banjo solo--
Yes, it's true. I'm so stupid. It's a little more complicated than you would think, though; less a state of being and more a way of life. It's a phrase that personifies the sort of masochistic comedy that happens to me on a regular basis. It can best be defined as any of the following scenarios: I wake up from a one hour nap, only to find out that I was supposed to be at an important meeting three hours ago. Maybe I fall asleep on a train and wake up at the exact same stop... Going in the opposite direction.
Or perhaps I spent the last week hitchhiking to Washington, when I really wanted to go to Washington DC. Or even better, I built my summer cottage in the part of the country with the highest density of grizzly bears, using bricks of salmon and honey as the mortar. You get the idea... Anyways, I almost committed my greatest and final masterpiece today, and I thought I'd tell all you about it. I narrowly missed being struck by an oncoming train while running for a train for which I was late: the very epitome of "I'm so stupid."As I boarded the train that almost cost me my life, I began to ponder the nature of life. As I made a mental journey through my life, I thought about what regrets I had, although few they were, and among them was "not befriending more people with wheezy laughs." It may sound weird, but nothing makes you seem like the funniest guy in the room than a friend with a really wheezy laugh. You know the kind I'm talking about: the jolly, asthmatic sort of chuckle that's as at home in a crowded restaurant or bar as it is in the Intensive Care wing of your local hospital.
There's something about that laugh that makes you think, "I'm not sure what he's laughing about, but whatever it is, it's gotta be good!"Besides my near-death at the hands of man's only invention that is as devious as it is steam-powered, my day was pretty fantastic. Although I will dearly miss working with the gorillas, I must admit that I'm really excited about switching to Asia. No longer am I working with species from a continent based entirely on testosterone-fueled aggression and fierce dominance heirarchies. Not only am I hanging out with the orangs, which are freaking ADORABLE, but later I'll get to move on to the gibbons (which are incredibly fun to watch) and the otters. Which brings me to an important sidenote: Otters are officially THE cutest animal in the world. Even if I ignore the whole "bweaking cwams wif big wocks on my wittle tummy" factor (seeing as how these are river otters and not sea otters), the truth is undeniable. They look like puppies, sound like kittens, have little baby hands, and enjoy tickle fights and swimming playfully. I'm on-fucking-board.
I know I promised a comic today, but as I mentioned before, I'm so stupid and therefore brought my Wacom tablet to Chicago but left the Wacom pen at home. Classic Willis. Anyways, I've cobbled together a pretty wuss-tastic MS Paint version of the gorilla family tree (click for better res) and I hope it brings some clarity to my stories. I left some holes that are better left empty, since the backstory of this group is a whopper.
Anyhoo, I'll keep bringing the animal stories, gorillas included, so make sure to keep this in mind. Maybe print it out and keep it next to your computer at all times... You know, for reference. Well I'm definitely wiped out after a hard day at the zoo, so I hope you all enjoyed my writin' and come back real soon, y'hear?--banjo solo--
Friday, June 13, 2008
It's Been A While...
Indeed it has, since I updated this little blog of mine. I've decided that Monday, Wednesday, Friday updates would be a lot more manageable and convenient for my busy schedule, and plus a build-up of 2-3 days of interesting stuff makes for a more interesting blog... I hope. I'll try to stick as true to this schedule as I can, because you guys deserve that kind of stuff. Awww, look... You're blushing.
Quickly, I just want to say that it's been a month since I started working at Brookfield and that means I have to switch sections. I'll be going to Asia with the orangs, and will be leaving my beloved gorillas and monkeys behind. As requested, I'll try and put up a family tree of the gorillas, but it'll be a doozy all right.
In more pressing news, I've become a monster. I know, quite the inflammatory statement, but please, let me elaborate. I love animals. We all know it's true. Big and small, I'm a really big fan of all of 'em. Being the animal-lover that I am (mind you, that doesn't include making love, Ethan), I hate to see any unnecessary harm brought upon any animal (except for cows; they're just so damn delicious, but that's another story...). But during my employment at the zoo, I've done some things I'm not proud of, for the sake of my animals: I've become a mouse killer.
The first time, I wasn't my hand that directly killed the mouse, but I caught it and let it happen. But yesterday, after bopping a mouse reflexively, I had to put him out of his misery with the business end of a shovel. Like some twisted game of whack-a-mole, I brought my shovel down on his little head, killing him quickly, but ejecting his brains a good foot and a half from his head. Needless to say, I was a little traumatized.
On a completely unrelated note, I was walking to work this morning and passed the Riverside/ Brookfield High School as I usually do. Right in front of me was a gigantic horde of high school cheerleaders, probably getting ready to fail an IQ test or something. Being the courteous, dapper young gentlemen that I am, I say "Excuse me" as I pass, as in "Please make room, I'm trying to walk past your throng of bra-stuffing, lip-gloss-smacking ninnies." The response I got was "WHY? (LOLZ)" with a subscript of "Aren't I funny?"... Never in my life have I wanted more to call a girl (a young, emotionally-vulnerable one at that) fat. Proof that no matter how old you get, high school cheerleaders will harass you and give you no respect... Unless you're Zac Efron.
Well, I was thinking a lot, and I've decided that I'm going to try and transform this blog into a blog/ web comic, using the magic of [cue trumpets] THE INTERNET. This is because I like drawing, I want to get better at drawing, I think I have funny ideas, I like the internet [cue trumpets], and what better way to combine these things than with a web comic? So hopefully I can get some stuff done with my Wacom while I'm at home in the 'burbs this weekend, and have my first comic up on the internet [cue trumpets] by Monday's post. See how nicely that works out? Hopefully you'll like it and not throw rotten e-tomatoes at my e-face, which is conveniently located here:
Thanks for reading again, but the weekend awaits. PEACE
Quickly, I just want to say that it's been a month since I started working at Brookfield and that means I have to switch sections. I'll be going to Asia with the orangs, and will be leaving my beloved gorillas and monkeys behind. As requested, I'll try and put up a family tree of the gorillas, but it'll be a doozy all right.
In more pressing news, I've become a monster. I know, quite the inflammatory statement, but please, let me elaborate. I love animals. We all know it's true. Big and small, I'm a really big fan of all of 'em. Being the animal-lover that I am (mind you, that doesn't include making love, Ethan), I hate to see any unnecessary harm brought upon any animal (except for cows; they're just so damn delicious, but that's another story...). But during my employment at the zoo, I've done some things I'm not proud of, for the sake of my animals: I've become a mouse killer.
The first time, I wasn't my hand that directly killed the mouse, but I caught it and let it happen. But yesterday, after bopping a mouse reflexively, I had to put him out of his misery with the business end of a shovel. Like some twisted game of whack-a-mole, I brought my shovel down on his little head, killing him quickly, but ejecting his brains a good foot and a half from his head. Needless to say, I was a little traumatized.
On a completely unrelated note, I was walking to work this morning and passed the Riverside/ Brookfield High School as I usually do. Right in front of me was a gigantic horde of high school cheerleaders, probably getting ready to fail an IQ test or something. Being the courteous, dapper young gentlemen that I am, I say "Excuse me" as I pass, as in "Please make room, I'm trying to walk past your throng of bra-stuffing, lip-gloss-smacking ninnies." The response I got was "WHY? (LOLZ)" with a subscript of "Aren't I funny?"... Never in my life have I wanted more to call a girl (a young, emotionally-vulnerable one at that) fat. Proof that no matter how old you get, high school cheerleaders will harass you and give you no respect... Unless you're Zac Efron.
Well, I was thinking a lot, and I've decided that I'm going to try and transform this blog into a blog/ web comic, using the magic of [cue trumpets] THE INTERNET. This is because I like drawing, I want to get better at drawing, I think I have funny ideas, I like the internet [cue trumpets], and what better way to combine these things than with a web comic? So hopefully I can get some stuff done with my Wacom while I'm at home in the 'burbs this weekend, and have my first comic up on the internet [cue trumpets] by Monday's post. See how nicely that works out? Hopefully you'll like it and not throw rotten e-tomatoes at my e-face, which is conveniently located here:
Thanks for reading again, but the weekend awaits. PEACE
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Celebrity Look-Alike
Because I had such a crazy unfocused post yesterday, I figured I'd post something a little more animal-centric today to make up for it.
As you may or may not know, I've been working with the gorillas at the Brookfield Zoo for the last three weeks. It's been a blast getting to know each one's individual personality and mannerisms. You've got Ramar, the silverback, who won't let me come anywhere near the group without strutting around and beating his chest to show me who's really in charge. Then there are the girls, Binti Jua (the gorilla famous for picking up the kid that fell in some years back) and her daughter Koola, who are the dominant pair in the group.
Binti has another boy, Bakari, and Koola has a daughter herself, Kamba, who are both 3 years old and love to play together. Kamba is actually Bakari's half-sister/ niece (a relation that only makes sense in gorillas and Georgia), and she can often be seen giving her uncle/ brother piggy back rides around the exhibit mountain.
Nadaya is Ramar's oldest boy, and he likes to play chase and wrestle with his half-brother Bakari after an afternoon snack. Bana, Nadaya's aunt, is extremely gentle and likes to hangout with her grandmother Alpha, one of the oldest females in the group. The other oldest would be Beta, who I'm convinced is the cutest, crankiest old gorilla in the world.
Not only is each gorilla unique in the way they act, but I can tell each one apart by the way they look, too. Binti has this characteristic cow-lick at the back of her head, and her kids Koola and Bakari have it too. Kamba is also a lot darker than Bakari, who is more gray all over. Bana is the fuzziest of the group and Nadaya, besides being the only subadult male, has this George Costanza thing going on with his hair, which is especially red. Beta has the most adorable gorilla face I've ever seen, and Alpha has a striking resemblance to David Schwimmer. Maybe it's just me... You decide for yourself.
Yes, I'm thoroughly obsessed with my gorillas. Next time, gorilla vocalizations. With my help, you'll be speaking gorilla (with a hint of a Bavarian accent) in no time. Enjoy!
As you may or may not know, I've been working with the gorillas at the Brookfield Zoo for the last three weeks. It's been a blast getting to know each one's individual personality and mannerisms. You've got Ramar, the silverback, who won't let me come anywhere near the group without strutting around and beating his chest to show me who's really in charge. Then there are the girls, Binti Jua (the gorilla famous for picking up the kid that fell in some years back) and her daughter Koola, who are the dominant pair in the group.
Binti has another boy, Bakari, and Koola has a daughter herself, Kamba, who are both 3 years old and love to play together. Kamba is actually Bakari's half-sister/ niece (a relation that only makes sense in gorillas and Georgia), and she can often be seen giving her uncle/ brother piggy back rides around the exhibit mountain.
Nadaya is Ramar's oldest boy, and he likes to play chase and wrestle with his half-brother Bakari after an afternoon snack. Bana, Nadaya's aunt, is extremely gentle and likes to hangout with her grandmother Alpha, one of the oldest females in the group. The other oldest would be Beta, who I'm convinced is the cutest, crankiest old gorilla in the world.
Not only is each gorilla unique in the way they act, but I can tell each one apart by the way they look, too. Binti has this characteristic cow-lick at the back of her head, and her kids Koola and Bakari have it too. Kamba is also a lot darker than Bakari, who is more gray all over. Bana is the fuzziest of the group and Nadaya, besides being the only subadult male, has this George Costanza thing going on with his hair, which is especially red. Beta has the most adorable gorilla face I've ever seen, and Alpha has a striking resemblance to David Schwimmer. Maybe it's just me... You decide for yourself.
Yes, I'm thoroughly obsessed with my gorillas. Next time, gorilla vocalizations. With my help, you'll be speaking gorilla (with a hint of a Bavarian accent) in no time. Enjoy!
Monday, June 9, 2008
SURPRISE!
Welcome, bienvenido, gutentag, and shabbat shalom to the inaugural edition of my new blog, The Wild World of Willis! I finally caved and started my own blog for several reasons: watching Ethan's blog take off and become so successful, already with a dedicated readership, and also because of my crushing boredom living in the city by myself.
Now let's talk about some of the goals and aspirations that I've set for this blog. This is a place where I can tell everyone about my experiences working at the Brookfield Zoo, but it's not just that... No way, buddy! I live in the boisterous city of Chicago and something is always going on! That means I'm going to start posting not only my adventures with animals, but crazy stories about crazy people, funny thoughts that pop into my head, maybe even some sketches (if I'm ever reunited with my scanner), and basically whatever the hell I want. Now doesn't that sound fun?
I'm really excited about this blog, but I'd hate to start off on the wrong e-foot by getting all negative (Get it? I'm taking a standard cliche and putting an internet twist on it. Because I'm writing a blog. On the internet. And you put "e" before stuff on the internet. Well, you see it's just a metaphor and, well... Aww, shut up.) Nevertheless, I'm going to take a chance on you guys and talk about something that I really dislike. After work I'm running to the train, which was late by the way (which also pisses me off), but that's not the point. I'm running because I get off of work at 6:00 and the only train for another hour is supposed to show at 6:08, and it's a fifteen minute walk back to the station. Okay, pop quiz. Is fifteen more than eight? If you said yes, then you probably came to the same conclusion that I did: The swift back-and-forth motion of my legs called running was required to bridge the gap between me and the train in a timely fashion. If you said no, 50 points from Gryffindor, Mr. Potter.
Anyway, I'm running like hell out of the zoo, and then it happens. This schmuck sitting on a bench not 6 feet from me yells, "Faster!" Now, I really hate it when people do that. I really, really hate it when people do that. What the hell is funny about yelling "Run!" or "Go faster!" at someone who is already running? That's right, nothing. And if you think that is funny, then you are childish, sophomoric, and not to mention dumb as hell. And the fact that this kid was twelve did not excuse his actions. The only thing separating my size-9 Vans and this twerp's scrawny butt was the fact that I was still within the fenced grounds of the zoo, and I had to think about the message I'd be sending to the rest of our patrons. Otherwise, I would have beat the fourth-grade crap out of the little turd. I mean, seriously, kids these days...
So yea, just had to get that out of my system. On the lighter side of things, I was sitting at the Hollywood (Yes, beautiful Hollywood, IL) Metra stop waiting for the late 6:08 train when I looked down and saw this really tiny red bug running across the asphalt. And when I say running, I mean the little guy was trucking it. This wasn't your ordinary asphalt, either; it was rocky as hell asphalt. The equivalent would be me running across the AggroCrag from GUTS at 20 mph. Speaking of, I always wondered how they made the one trophy piece glow bright green like that. What arcane magicks did the producers of GUTS possess to make a lifeless piece of plastic glow like the goddamed sun? Best not to think too hard about it, lest I anger the spirits of the 'Crag.
I know that was a hell of a first post, and you might even be thinking, "Hey, you barely even mentioned animals in this blog of yours. Well, there was that one mention of a bug, but that was just a thinnly-veiled reference to GUTS, and it wasn't that funny anywa..." but then I'd have to cut you off because that's the wrong kind of thinking! I promise there will be more animals to come, and plenty of other stuff as well, for as long as my fickle taste is entertained by this blog. Hope you're having as much fun as I am!
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